How you can help the Doria's - UPDATE

Wow! Auna and Ron have been so overwhelmed with everyone's generosity and support. They have received many gift cards the past two days and are so appreciative. If you don't mind holding off on making any financial contributions for a little bit, we are working on setting up a donation website. Presently researching platforms to figure out what will be best for you all and for Doria's. Thanks for you patience! **if anyone has had a fabulous experience setting up and using a donation/fundraising account we'd love your recommendation, leave it in the comments or email mindyjanis@gmail.com.

They'd still love to receive fan mail and pictures in the meantime (see original post for details below). Your prayers are also making a huge difference! THANK YOU!

Auna's Journal Entries From the First Week

Here are Auna's journal entries from the time Staussen was just sick (they thought) to the end of last week. There are also some pictures of our sweet Staussen in mostly chronological order after each entry. Soon we will be getting some video footage up, but this was first priority. There will also be a more technical version of this last week coming from Ronald soon. 

DAY 1 - Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Today I woke up like any other day and then came down stairs with Ronald calling the hospital to make an appointment for Staussen... there have BEEN SO MANY details and things that went on today! But basically it all boils down to that Staussen most likely has Leukemia. I have been emotional, today has been crazy, traumatic, overwhelming and busy. There are so many logistics I am not sure how everything is going to go down. There are a lot more tests that we need to do and we are waiting for Thursday to hear if it is for sure leukemia. But still I feel peace deep down that Heavenly Father has us in mind and I can see His hand here (this morning it was a blessing that we got in for an early appointment). I am grateful for dear family and friends and for their prayers and concerns. 

Things have been going so fast I wish I could write more details, mostly I feel numb. But at the same time I really feel such a deep love for Staussen, Daisy and Ronald. I love my family. I love the Gospel. I know that the Lord will help us. Staussen and Ronald received a beautiful blessing before we left to Walter reed. I am so proud of Staussen he has had the most traumatic heart wrenching day. He is so brave and amazing, and adorable. I love him so so so much! I just want to focus on what matter's most, these kind of situations really force me to focus harder. Daisy was so cute today she was talking up a storm. I love my two babies with all my heart, and the man that our family all started with. 

I am kinda in shock mode still, this has been a roller coaster day. I am trying to focus on MOMENTS (I watched a mormon message about that with Staussen and it touched me and helped me during today), the ones that matter.... holding Daisy and seeing her precious smile and spirit and her adorable cues. I loved holding my precious sick Staussen and carrying him around looking at pictures on the wall. Snuggling with him and watching cars. Holding him close while he chows down on an orange popsicle. Holding him close (even though it was heart wrenching and traumatic) while they were sticking Staussen with needles and he was balling. Seeing Staussen carry around his pinata dinosaur and the cute things he would talk about (even though I didn't know what exactly he was saying). Seeing Staussen laugh and smile at Daisy and give her a kiss even though he is sick. Well I think I need to rest now. I just felt like it's important for me to write in my journal during this journey.  

DAY 2 & 3 - Wednesday/Thursday

Wow, words just can't describe my experience this week. I feel like everything is a whirlwind around me, I am very overwhelmed and overstimulated. Yet I still have inner peace and strength that I KNOW is not my own. Heavenly Father and so many loved ones prayers and love have lifted me above and beyond my capacity. It's so weird, it's almost as if a part of me is outside of my body right now, I feel a little numb and I think I'm shutting out some of my feelings so that I can function right now. I'm heartbroken no doubt. When I realized something was seriously wrong with Staussen of course I was really emotional. Now I think I am just in shock. I feel helpless often looking at my sweet, precious, brave and also tramatized boy. He was stuck over 10 times with needles that were unsuccessful in getting a vein all within about a day and a halves time. I couldn't handle it any more so I had to leave the room and leave Ron with Staussen, I was pleading and praying for help... just please guide their hands and get that stupid needle in his vein... I knew he needed it because his blood count was so low across the board so there wasn't really a choice, they needed fluid and antibiotics in him. But why couldn't they just give us a nurse that was more experienced with kids. I was getting so angry that my poor son was getting experimented on time and time again. But the Lord helped me try to keep things in perspective even though it was a little blurry with my emotions, I had the feeling and reminder that the Lord doesn't always answer the way we want and He has us in mind and knows what is best. It was so traumatizing for all of us. He was very bruised and terrified anytime a nurse touched him (even if they were just cleaning him or putting tape on). Somehow we got through, we had no choice. 

They were able to get an iv in his foot. That was the one that actually worked when they sedated him for the bone marrow test. I was so relieved, but then when he was waking up they couldn't get enough blood from that iv, so they tried several more times with no success. His veins were just dry and he was low on blood, it was torture. Staussen is such a trooper though and today (day three) now that the iv is in place and he is not getting stuck so much he has been MUCH happier! He's been so amazing, brave, funny and cute. And of course Daisy has been a trooper through this all. She loves looking around and getting attention from so many people.

I have so many thoughts and emotions swirling around me I am so distracted and easily overwhelmed, yet it could be way worse because again, I really have felt help and strength beyond my own. I am grateful to have felt strongly comforted and accepting that this IS and has ALWAYS been the plan for our family and for Staussen. I know the Lord loves us and has us in mind and now we are facing the next new step in our life on the pathway to refinement of many rough edges. I feel very blessed still. But don't get me wrong this is tough and I feel like everything is just crazy, I think I am still in shock and probably denial that this is still real. I have so much adrenaline but I know I need to rest. 


Well that's all I have in me to write right now I think I need to rest and clear my head.

Wednesday

Thursday

Waiting all day to find out what type of Leukemia he has.

Can't forget about the sweet Daisy girl. She's been such a trouper.

DAY 4-6, Friday - Sunday 

I feel so undeserving of the OUTPOUR of Love, support, and prayers. I am so touched and shocked I can't believe how many AMAZING people have made such a BIG difference for us, more then they know. In every small and large way we have felt the POWER of Love. Love and comfort from our Heavenly Father has been made manifest to us through so many people. Every single loving thought and concern, text, email, call,voicemail, personalized videos, video chats, visits (& offers to visit),prayer, blog/facebook ect. comment, fasts, acts of service made and offered (SO many), tremendously THOUGHTFUL and GENEROUS gifts have all added up to just an indescribable feeling. It's so frustrating that I can't adequately put into words how I feel and how grateful I am... we as a family feel in debt of gratitude that we feel completely inadequate to repay. 

I also feel a little awkward getting all this attention, I'm not sure how to handle it. But I want to try my best to express how much it really does mean to us. Our little boy is really in heaven right now... despite the trauma he has already experienced and the continual struggle to take his chemo and the other things the nurses and docs do to him that he is scared of and hates... he is taking all of this in remarkably well. These last two days, for the most part, he has been so happy and has been so spoiled with birthday presents, gifts and love! I know he can feel the love and it is giving him strength no doubt about it. I never ever imagined his 2nd birthday EVER being this way... but it has been wonderful because of the many amazing people in our lives!!

This has been the craziest week of my life so far. It has been packed to the brim. It has felt like the FASTEST and LONGEST week of my life. A million emotions, thoughts, concerns, logistics, and medical attention intensely crammed into a short time frame. I think I'm still in shock and am running off of adrenaline but it is slowly wearing off (maybe?). It's crazy how I have run on such low amounts of sleep but have hardly felt the impact (thanks to the prayers, support and love from everyone)... with that said though I know we need rest and this will all catch up to us. I have been trying to get more sleep each night as things are somewhat slowing down. 

I can't document all the details (luckily my husband is better at that)! But I have never felt so proud and grateful for such an amazing husband going through medical school! He has so many church, school (which are very demanding and intensive), and family responsibilities that he is taking like a champ. He has worked so hard to learn medical things and it is paying off right now. So many moments this week I have felt so grateful and relieved that Ron understands all this doctor lingo and details with tests, surgery, results, treatment plans and understanding how this is all affecting our sweet little sons body. It's not as overwhelming to digest all this at once because I just take in what I can understand and feel confident to ask Ron more questions and have him break it down for me later :). 

I also can't document all of the event details and all the experiences and everything going on in my brain, heart and body because I kinda feel like mush when I try to recall it all. It's just been so hard to keep track of everything as I'm going through it. But I am trying to say whatever I can I guess and just the overall feeling. I feel like all the support and prayers have helped me not be too overly emotional so I can function. I feel like the Lord is showing me this outpoor of love in so many ways, He is helping me to notice, recall and connect His hand and His tender mercies. He is reminding me of this now because I can only imagine that it will be a long challenging 3 plus years as we are fighting with our son through this illness.

Friday

(Friday) Getting ready to go into surgery.

 Got to spend a little time with Mom and Dad before going under.

This is the head Nurse, she is AWESOME! Every time she comes in she says "Where's my suga??? I gotta get some suga!" (and she says sugar without the sh sound) She loves Staussen and Daisy. 

Saturday and Sunday pictures of Staussen's birthday will be coming soon!

How you can help the Doria's right now

We have received lots of requests from people wondering what they can do to help the Doria's right now. Here are a few ideas -

1. Send them a picture of you/your family

Email a digital copy to Staussen's aunt kyleewayment@gmail.com and we'll get it printed for you or mail a hard copy to Staussen's aunt that lives near the hospital -

Staussen Doria
c/o Shalayne Monson
4407 Dixie Hill Rd #306
Fairfax, VA 22030-9032

Staussen's hospital room is going to be decorated in a 'Superheroes are little boys in disguise theme'. There will be a sign that says 'Super Staussen's Fan Club' and we'd love to be able to include pictures of all his family and friends there. We hope it will be a wonderful visual reminder to the Doria's of the many people who love them and are praying for them.

2. Pray that housing will open up for them in the next few days in the Fisher house near the hospital. They are sponsored in a hotel nearby for the next three nights but will need to find something else after that.

3. Gift cards to restaurants nearby so they don't have to always eat hospital food would be great. Here are a few ideas (you can click on them to go to the page to purchase the applicable gift card) -

Quiznos
Subway
Wendy's

There are a lot of great local restaurants near the hospital that do not offer gift cards online. So a generic gift card/cash/or check earmarked for food would also be great.

Digital gift cards can be emailed to Auna at soccerdaisy@gmail.com or gift cards can be mailed to Shalayne at the address above and she'll get them to the Doria's.

They have plenty of non-perishable snack foods at present.


Also, Staussen has received so many toys/books - thank you so much to everyone who has sent such wonderful things! Presently they have plenty, but there will be a place for those sorts of gifts in the future. We'll keep you posted.

Focus and Refocus

Life is full of challenges. The list is endless and unique to each individual. These difficulties come in all shapes and sizes and will never cease to stretch and try us. At times we may feel completely broken, lost, frustrated, overwhelmed, discouraged, and we could go on and on. Or we may feel prideful (whether we admit it or not) and act content with our preoccupation of the trivial things that feed our ego but damage our spirits and hurt the ones we love. None of us are immune to the endless list of trials that face us in life. It's human nature to take life and our moments for granted or even to complain and shake our fist at the injustices that come our way.

One moment, on Tuesday October 21st, 2014, changed my life forever and expanded my limited perspective. I walked into a room to hear the results of a blood test taken for my sick son who had woken up on Monday morning sick with a fever and who could not walk. The nurse told me his blood count was low and then said the doctor can explain more, but I wasn't really that phased by it because I didn't understand the numbers. I just figured he was sick with a fever, so we would give him antibiotics so his fever and ache body would go away. Then I turned to face my husband as I heard him sniffle behind me. Out of nowhere, a flood of emotions hit me when I looked into my husband's tear-filled eyes. He is a medical student and he understood those numbers, and because he was emotional I knew something was seriously wrong.

I looked at my husband, my almost-two-year-old son and my three-month old baby. Their presence suddenly felt more precious to me then ever before. Even though we didn't have an official diagnosis at that point, I was terrified that my son had a serious illness and that maybe he would die. Life felt so fragile because the possibility that a dear life could be ending.

There is more that unfolds to this story--we are only 4 days into it, And more details I want to share when my husband and I have the time and energy for it. But for now I wanted to share the purpose of this blog.

I am not a blogger. In fact, before my son was diagnosed with leukemia, the thought of publicly sharing my personal thoughts and experiences terrified me. I have suffered from a very personal and complicated time of depression and anxiety just prior to this experience; however, I was feeling back to normal before my son's illness. I am grateful for the many things I am learning. I believe the timing is no coincidence. The Lord has been preparing me for this. I don't want to forget and overlook the precious moments that matter most. The goal of this blog is to help me, my family, and the ones I love to continually focus and refocus on the things that really matter.

Things are still pretty crazy right now so we will share our story the best we can under the current circumstances. My mom and sisters are going to run and organize this blog for the time being. Ronald and I will share the story and details the best we can as time and energy permits. Although overwhelmed, shocked, and heartbroken, we want to express our deepest thanks to family and friends that have reached out to us! We have felt the STRENGTH, support and love of those who have thought of us and prayed for us. Thank you a million times a million! We are deeply touched. We have not been able to respond to everyone but will accept the many offers of help as time continues and as we figure out what we need. We need the help, even if we sometimes don't want to admit it. My husband is working on an outline with all the events and technical details of this week's unfolding.

- Auna